Posts Tagged → personal development
My Use of the NLP Swish Patern
Over the last few years i really have experimented with every possible self help and personal development idea. I have always been someone who….when i find a new idea i obsess about it until i know every side of it and every possible technique. Its good in some ways, the amount of knowledge i possess will definately benefit me to write well and in my life in general.
At one stage in my personal development road….i purposesly gave myself Approach Anxiety and general fear of women. Everyone asks me why…why would you do this. Well i wanted to test and discover more about myself in regards to what works and what doesnt. Simply because we are all different and some techniques to help us may not work on everyone. I did this by visualising the worst scenario’s imaginable for what would happen if i was to approach a girl. I also purosely approached women in the wrong way and then did something wrong, so that it would create a belief subconsciously. So over about 2 weeks i went through loads of different techniques to see which one really worked best on me to help me cure myself of it. It was a real interesting time as you discover so much about your thinking process and what really makes you happy. Here is a list of the various different techniques that worked to some extent:
- Watching American Pie Beta House ….Watching a film that shows you the fun side of getting women is so motivating. This film was great for that.
- Awareness Exercise: This was a technique where you tihnk of a negative outcome then a positive and it helps your mind realise the difference based on how you feel.
- Imagining a good future outcome: Simply imagine something really good that could happen when you approach a girl.
- Richard Bandler Get the Life You Want: Great book, techniques such as Tips on Flirting and Become More Motivated really helped.
- NLP Swish Pattern
The use of the Swish Pattern was probably the most effective out of them all, which may not shock most as NLP is a powerful tool for therapy. How i used the pattern was different, you see…the swish pattern is used to change a certain behaviour with a more resourceful one. This can be simply done by picturing the negative behaviour, then the new more resourceful one and then overtaking it in your mind. But i did something different…..my aim was to connect the thought in my mind that….approaching women….would make me happy and would get me what i want. Once i did this technique….the next night i went out….i was EXCITED to approach women, i would literally run around a club looking for a hot girl, it was mad! See when i did the swish pattern i did do a few different ways, one was the standard use which replaces or changes a behaviour into another. The way i used it was slightly different, it connected the thought subconsciously of what approaching women will do for me. POWERFUL! It works with any negative behaviour as it connects what taking the action will give you.
Now i’m sure all my readers would want me to explain how i did it, but i cant. Its a technique that if done wrong will obviously disrupt your neurology in a negative way. If you want to use the standard Swish Pattern then by all means do so….but make sure it is done by a Practitioner. There is a reason why you need to have a license to practice NLP
A combination of the techniques above will definately help anyone with a negative behaviour they may be having, not just with women. Your mind is so powerful, everything you think has a profound effect on your life. Your world is a reflection of what you imagine it to be.
Remember that.
If anyone would like more information on the techniques used above….email me. They are ridiculously helpful and will save you alot of money and time.
Sam
Individual Experience Theory: Defeating Approach Anxiety and Improve your Dating Success
As you may know from reading my Personal Development blog posts, i talk alot about how vital authentic 1st hand experience is in the real world ( as in the one you see in front of you right now) An example can be found here: New Theory for why every PUA is right
So an idea i came up with lately will give you a sure fire way to get rid of any remaining AA and simultaneously help you get rapid results with women. It is a theory and a frame of mind, i currently use it whenever possible and it is a great way to approach not just your interactions with new women, but with anyone you have just met. I highly recommend reading The Power of Now and Introducing NLP to help you out with this, they are also 2 of the 3 of my self named “Pillars of Life”
People in general will always related what they see in front of them to past experiences, its impossible not to in some respects. I remember when i was studying philosophy, in one class the lecturer began by saying to me “Whats that in front of you” ….I said “Its a chair”, he then replied with…..”How do you know its a chair”.
That one question spawned a massive debate, my reply to him was that i knew it was a chair because i had seen one before. But then he debates that i couldn’t have seen that exact chair before. Then we got onto the Theory of the Forms and all of Plato’s shiz. It was fun. Anyway the reason i pointed out this example is that as according to David Hume, a Scottish Philosopher; we have a presupposed harmony in our brain that lets us learn from experience which i agree with fully. If we have a memory of us falling down the stairs, then whenever we see stairs we will stay away from it. Its the reason why most people have phobia’s, they have a past memory that they are relating to the present moment.
This is all the same with our experience of women, if we have bad success in the past, then we will relate it to the present moment, so if we see a lovely young lady we want to approach, we wont because we will feel fear based on what happened last time. But in actual truth…..the person in front of us we have never seen before in our life!! Isn’t that a mad thought…..we fear things we had never seen until that moment. How can we fear something we would have no previous knowledge of? The horrible reality is that we relate everything we see to what we already know or have been brought up to believe, which is why we are judgemental of cultures, religions and politicians. Sometimes its for the best, if we see a big tiger coming towards us we know to run. Our brain chooses certain beliefs and rules based on our own experiences and what we have been told, in order to protect us and make sure we Survive. But it can be for the worst, in the past i have been given abuse and racial hatred by alot of people because i am Jewish. I met a girl once who i got on so well with, until when she asked me where i was from and i said my Dad was from Israel…she told me how her family had brought her up to despise and want to kill my kind; she was half Palestinian. That took me away….the thought that we can hate people we have never met, only because of what we have been brought up to believe.
But the solution is simple, anyone can conquer their past and have the ability to treat every new situation as brand new, its actually very simple.
A little bit of fact for you all; every single person living or dead is different in some way…FACT. No 2 people are identical, even twins. Why? Because they have all been exposed to different experiences through their life. Experiences create beliefs and values in our brain, they are what govern our life. So if this is factually true, then it is safe to assume that judging someone new we meet based on someone we had met like them before would be stupid. Its like saying any British person you meet drinks tea and eats crumpets! Its not just stupid to assume that but unresourceful.
For men and PUA’s trying to better their skills with women this is what you should do……TREAT EACH NEW PERSON YOU MEET AS AN INDIVIDUAL. By doing this you will actually communicate better with them because it forces you to interact and listen to what they are saying because you have never heard it before! Each moment will be brand new, each moment will be a new experience. This also will cure you of your Approach Anxiety, heres why…… If the rule the fact that every person is different is true, then that means you do not know what is going to come your way, it is unknown what will happen. So….how can you fear the unknown. If i was to hold up a piece of plain paper in front of you and say to you “FEAR THIS NOW”….would you be able to……no! Unless you were scared of the colour white, or paper!! You would not know what to do, try it. Get a piece of paper out look at it and say….”This is what i fear” Your brain will get confused.
What most people dont realise is that any book or material on how to communicate better, presupposes a definite reaction from the person you are communicating with, which is obviously impossible. However this “Individual Experience Theory” presupposes that you have never experienced this situation before, therefore have to interact fully with it to understand it. You will be forced to use all your senses to gain as much information from the person in front of you as you can. Your skills for communicating will go through the roof. You will start to create a new and powerful system of beliefs in your mind. You will be….a Super Human.
Try it out everyone and get back to me with your thoughts.
Your main man Sam.
English